“I’m French. Is it safe for me to go to America?”

America is a land of guns, crazy people, corrupt politicians, evil corporations, Puritanical minority groups, fat slobs, Puritanical majority groups, an almost bankrupt culture, and an almost bankrupt treasury. Therefore, while indeed it is not safe for you to come to America, we need your euros, apparently, so please skip Canada and come here instead. We’ll be nice: no one will force you to eat our crappy doughnuts.

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